Not tired....

Even I get tired sometimes
and need resorting to illusions
like the elevated sand dunes
I am ready to sacrifice my identity
to the power of the wind
hoping I’ll be the next sunderban..
Even I get tired sometimes
of the long horny days
that stay there
very much like the endless desert
with breaks appearing like the mirage
with illusionary attractions..
even I get tired sometimes
with concocted identities
all around
like swollen effigies
smiling with suspense
as if the prey
has fallen in place..
even I get tired sometimes
of pessimistic reactions
from optimistic people
like the sand-clock
waiting to be turned upside down
to let the moments clicking
so that I may feel
I m living
I too get tired sometimes
and hunt for rest
That I may heal my
ailing heart
I get tired
but then I realise
its not the time
to stop
I have to reach
to the top
Of all adversities
and there is yet
a lot of distance
to be covered
the peak is yet to be discovered..
and as I near the destination
I see its just a station,
a temporary halt to sit & pause
to look for a different cause
when one is attained
there are still peaks to conquer,
acme’s to climb…
there’s another battle to be won..
this day has another sun
peeping through the mountains
of opportunities
I cannot be tired
I can no more cease
To rest
taming the unrest
I have to move

on & on
On& on…..

Life'Abyss'

12th December-2008

कुछ उपले थापति औरतें

आज मैने देखीं

कुछ उपले थापति औरतें

कुछ लोकगीत गुनगुनाती

सुनहरी धूप में जैसे

अपनी परछाई से बतियाती

कुछ औरतें

उन्हें याद है अपने घर का रास्ता

दिल्ली, मुंबई, महाराष्ट्रा से उनका क्या वास्ता

वो हैं कुछ उपले थापति औरतें

अनपढ़, गँवार औरतें

जो घर जाकर खाना बनाएँगी

और माँजेगी बर्तन

पर यदि गावों में चोर आ जाए

तो हाथ में दराती लेकर

खड़ी हो जाती हैं ये औरतें

नहीं डरती किसी परिणाम से

पीछे नहीं हटती

सर पे दुपट्टा बाँध कर

करती हैं मुक़ाबला

वे हमारी -आपकी तरह नहीं हैं

बेबस-लाचार

उन्हें प्यारा है अपना परिवार

वे नहीं हैं नपुंसक

हमारी तरह

जो टीवी पर देखते ह

ैंबर्बादी का मंज़र

और सो जातें हैं

अपना घर चोर के हवाले कर

सुबह कोसते हैं उन्हीं चोरों को

हमें दिल्ली, मुंबई सबसे है वास्ता

पर शायद हम भूल रहें हैं

अपने घर का रास्ता...............

Life'Abyss'

11th December' 2008

WAKE UP......

There were families
waiting for their dear ones to return
hoping they will..
There was a daughter
who thought her mother
would join her for dinner
thinking she would be hungry
There was this man
who just cracked a business deal
and was eager to throw a party
rejoicing his achievement
There was a child
holding his mothers hand tight
as she would still take him along
he was too young to feel the numbness..
There was this daring officer
who thought
he was dressed enough to kill
not realising
he was to do his family proud
with ultimate sacrifice…
there was this man
who always controlled his vehicle
but today
there was someone else
driving his destiny…
There were they
who couldn’t understand the language
but knew time has come…
still there were they
with death in hands
with faces covered
moving like humans,
killing their victims
as if they were playing a game
which was to be won
with ended lives..
They showed no mercy
they had no heart .
for them everyone was equal
as they killed with equal brutality…
and WE
sat there glued to the TV
watching the soap..
reading newspapers, magazines
and everything, sympathising
with those who were slained
agonizing those who slained…
we talked and talked more..
waiting for the channels
to change the lead story
that we may get another topic…
Shame on us
Is this is not enough
Why are we quiet ?
because the dead do not belong to us
or we do not belong to them..
because it happened
somewhere away
and we wait the threat come nearer…
because we are habitual
of terror
like the hare
who closes its eyes
thinking no one’s noticing it
Why are we..?
So that a handfull of ruffians
Can have someone to terrorise
Or there is someone to sympathise
For the dead
Shame
Wake up
This may be the last call…
Wake up
Before they finish it all..
Wake up
Before our families weep
Wake up
That we may sleep

Life’Abyss’
Nov. –3rd-2008

Just like that ....

Just like that
someone whispered
a sweet phrase
telling me
life was so simple
Just like that
I agreed to the point
without thinking
and realised
life was
just like that
a thought came to my mind
that why do I find
myself surrounded by thoughts
Weird and wild
like a child
why do I think
just like that…
like a ripple in the water
I spread myself to the extreme
ready to touch the soil
not realizing
I’ll lose myself
just like that
I throng the ray of hope
like the innumerable
tiny creatures
hovering around
the lighted bulb
just like that
sometimes I feel
why solitude is reserved for those
who really do not find
it that necessary
who search for it
just like that
we spend our lives
yearning for something
we usually ignore
when it comes to us
just like that
and then we realise
its gone
just like that
like time vanishing
to eternity
leaving us empty handed
exactly like the way we arrived
just like that
I fear losing someone & something
I never owned
I stood there
in complete individuality
and I dreamt
it was my part
and would never depart
just like that
I lived in the moment
considering the moment was mine
until the shine
faded away
just like that
I think & think
does my life has a purpose ?
or was I born
just like that
I realise,
to fight is wise
than giving up to circumstances
afterall we are the creators
and we cant let them loose
to give us bruise
of defeat
just like that
and now ,
I just………............
....................................
Like that.

Life”abyss”October 4th’ 2008

An Empty Page......

Empty Page.............
.................
I love
the empty page
as like a sage,
it holds nothing
and is always ready
to sacrifice its emptiness,
like our echo its our own,
yet away
waiting for someone
to spray colors of joy
or even invite someone
to write a few non rhyming lines
as these
an empty page
that holds
a whole story in itself
left un-narrated,
unread, untold
waiting for someone
to unfold
the same
with creative thoughts
choosing spots
in the empty page
that holds within itself
the power of self
like the saint
shining with wisdom
of unspoken words
winning the battle
without any swords
without any fight
it always remains quiet
like a void
just attracting
its followers
to create a new cult
like an adult
it displays maturity
holding your hand
like a guardian
showing you the way
so that you may not sway
away from glory
narrating a silent story
of its own
the empty page
like a cage
is ready to enslave
you in the chain
of thoughts
& I love the fetters
invoking creativity
out of nothing
like
the empty page
giving meaning
to its emptiness
which is now filled
with a few lines
of random thoughts
poured into it
emptying someones mind
& now
I love the empty page even more
as it reflects my mind
ready to unwind
the whole story
to the world
that I hold
within myself
Just like the …….
……………Empty page….
6th Nov.-2008

Shadows....

Shadows.........
Shadows
They give me love
Standing by me
always.......
I love them too
giving them recognition
afterall
they belong to me
Shadows…
lengthy sometimes
and flexible
ready to mix
anywhere
with anything
they know their art
forever smart
shadows….
Sometimes short
ready to abort
any danger
they don’t compete
with my figure
showing the same vigour
in times good and bad
they remain glad
you don’t see them
in the dark
perhaps
you don’t feel the spark
of Self Sacrifice
I say...
“believe me”
they never leave me
They never depart
Instead in the darkness
they become my part
And that is the time

I need them the most….

Nothing's gonna change....

The best thing about a problem is that it comes with options. Option of facing it....option of running away....option of analysing it....option of ignoring it.....option of looking for more options...That is the reason why I've started loving them. Not because I am sorrounded by them but simply because I think I am the lucky one. Adversities also let you now of people you may call friends at times. And even of friends who were simple individuals. I acknowledge the fact that we may not be in the best of position to help someone out, each and every time, but frequency in my view, does matter. I have realised that a problem may be a simple one for you, to analyse it sitting in your office cabin or while watching TV in your living room. But for the one who is in direct confrontation with the devil...it is the biggest one.
EMPATHY...we all know it and we all ignore it. ..But then I think, why have so much of expectations...? But then why not ? Afterall we have invested so much. We have trusted those few people out of the thousands of individuals we might have met in our lives. We have shared our concerns and listened to theirs for those days, weeks, months and even years. We grabbed their shoulders and offered ours when cried. We went dutch while having a get together. We smiled when we met and shed tears when departed. We waited for hours for them to arrive so that we could go home together after college. We ignored their comments believing they were made in good humour. But we never did the same while listening to similar one for them by others. We sang together in harmony as if the rythm would never break. We spent hours and hours in the gift gallery looking for that special card that would appeal my friend...and then again looking for ;thinking ; drafting special quotes which would fill my friends heart with the greatest joy. We held their hand that gave us the life saving warmth. We sat in silence for hours and hours sometimes dead quiet and at others ...bursting out in clueless laughter. We studied together teaching each other the lessons of life. We wrote the best for each other in the scrapbooks which we still treasure(??). We were scolded for having too many friends and thought wondered what would happen if our parents knew about all of them.
Owing to all this and much much more the expectation that those friends should understand your problem is not unwanted or undue. I am thankful to those who have been there when I needed them and acknowledge their effort they made inspite of the busiest of schedule they went through.I have always and will always love my friends. So if any of my friends reads this can be free to share his/her concerns.

Miss/Love you all.

Life is an Abyss......

The gulf
of emotions
never ends..
like eternity
..like reality..
its dreadful
astonishing…
still inviting…
attracting man
to enter
though with no assurances
of returning
I am here
trapped
in the net of relations..
i liked the start
but now my heart
cannot bear the pain
tied in the chain
of feelings
“I want freedom”
impossible it is
to get to the surface
of the cleft
all your deft
will go in vain
all you get is pain & pain
unbearable,
unstoppable
still ironically
I enjoy the pain
I love dancing
in the rain
of adversities
wetting myself
with drops of illusion
..with the sun of hope
still hidden behind
clouds of uncertainty
But desires
still burning
flaming enough
to enlighten the way
pushing away
the wicked thought
ending the draught
of satisfaction
peeping through
unimaginable height
of circumstances
recalling instances
when you fell
into the cavity
conforming the gravity
of human mind
you too find
unbearable pain
unwanted strain
perhaps now
you don’t go near
the cleft
fear of being bereft
of personal achievements
afraid of the vacuum
you presume
defeat is yours
I have a different case..
here victory is given a chase
grabbing it
with hands of
determination..
the pain is there
but now I am used to it
its presence doesn’t pain me..
it can no more slain me…
people die to live with bliss
I have found the bliss in life’s abyss.

Let Destiny Smile..

It is like fate taking test of your confidence & courage. However I need to be free from all contradictions. Adversities sorround you to enslave your identity but then this is the place where your actual mettle is at stake. Do you at all notice the presence of difficulty. If yes, you are letting them overcome you. If not, you are already through.

Solitude Inspires

Solitude inspires….(Part I)
It’s always great to know that someone thinks the way you do. However things may be explained in a different manner as well. Firstly the notion or rather the claim that a philosopher is emotionless may not be true. A philosopher is the one who sees and experiences things from his/her own perspective. This has nothing at all to do with emotions. A philosopher is a normal human being with a distinct virtue of having developed his own understanding of things.
Also to correct, mature person is the one who gathers reasonable understanding of emotions. Swinging away from emotions doesn’t lead to maturity. Maturity leads to emotions in true sense…..in all senses. I understand bitter experiences are painful and very true that they are the best learning of life.
I have experienced a lot in life, both good and bad. Life for me is everything…and anything. Its like a class giving us a teacher like parents, friends like ours an atmosphere where we understand our purpose. We feel nice or bored going out in the playfield depending on our choices. We have our favorite teacher and also the one whom we don’t like. Although, our not liking doesn’t make him get vanished. He remains there…with all the firmness as before. Also the one we like doesn’t grow bigger…its only we that notice him more vividly.
Things can be explained to a far greater extent, which needs time and thought. Life for me has been an experience both bitter to the extremes and better too to some extent. However I don’t treat life incident by incident. Life is a continuous string of incidents that are slated to happen. Many, we are not aware of and some, who are a cause of our awareness.
Pain – It is not something to be avoided. Once you befriend this deadly beast…it is no more deadly and also no more a beast. It becomes your slave and arrives only when you give it a call. It is a rare stage and rare things are pretty hard to find. You may tend to lose your own self in pursuit of things you crave. It needs a lot of courage, determination and self-will to hunt for ultimate contentment. You have to tame your pain. In most cases your pain tames you. You cry in solitude and feel depressed. Your emotions rule you and you tend to lose way. This is lack of maturity. You need to whip your emotions to get them to the right direction. It quite difficult but then it is the only way. Please do not look for choices. I have always tried to tame my pain. My pain no more can instigate me to get angry…to be sad…to feel frustrated…to shout…to react or even to act. I cry only when I want to to…..I do not find living in solitude a tough job. I enjoy tranquility. It provides me an inspiration. It sharpens my creativity and spiritually I feel secure when I am alone. In true sense I share my pain with solitude and I am in harmony with nature.
Everyone in this world wears a mask. A mask that hides the true self from the real world. A mask that gives you an identity but even you is not aware of it. You are not, what you are in front of your parents; you are not what you are in front of your friends; you are not what you are in front of those whom you love deeply; you are not what you are whom you may dislike. Then who you are is a constant query that strikes your mind every time. The thoughts keeps hammering you conscious & subconscious mind each moment. You may spend your life searching for the answer and when you think you have it, it gives you another query…and the search begins altogether afresh.
One must think that it is more of a virtue that has been bestowed on him by almighty God if at all you believe in him. You can only believe in him when you have self-belief. So what is the difference between you and the supreme power? Nothing. I believe in myself. I am God. Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t want to propagate this fact. I don’t even want that this be made noticeable. After all, this is natural and like all natural things this too should be treated as casual. Only then can one live in harmony with nature without any elements losing control.
That doesn’t make me free of all emotions and responsibilities. I feel good in the company of few and really uneasy in someone else’s. This is natural. These emotions are my creations and are meant to be experienced. If not experienced what’s the use of their existence. Each emotion holds immense value within.